DIVORCE: THE NEW NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION
With the Holiday Season nearly past us for this year, it appears the Spirit of Giving has been transforming itself recently into the Spirit of Leaving. In fact, January has earned the title of Divorce Month over the past several years. According to FindLaw.com, an analysis of Americans’ divorce filings between 2008 and 2011 revealed a spike in divorces or filings in the month of January. Accompanying this rising trend, a rise of 50 percent more searches between December and January were seen for topics such as divorce, family law, child custody and other related topics.
Apparently, there is never a good time to drop the “I want a divorce” bomb on your spouse, and most people will wait out the holidays to not “look bad, mean,” or “ruin Christmas for the kids.” It’s not that hard to argue however if one is making preparations to do so and researching the ins and outs of filing for divorce DURING the Holidays if you’re being “naughty or nice” is it?
Lawyers nationwide will attest to the fact the calls start coming in for divorces every January. Regardless of whether or not January is “the best time to do it” or not, it is happened and the numbers are rising.
Attorneys will also tell you that in recent years, Facebook has been mentioned as a cause of divorce cases all over the United States. One attorney told MSNBC that nearly 60 percent of his divorce cases in the last year exclusively dealt with Facebook issues and the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers reports a significant increase of 80 percent of divorce cases involving social media across the board. These numbers are startling!
Social media at its best can erode a marriage if one spouse is getting help, support or some form of belonging to a community of “friends” that takes time away from seeking these things in the home and from their spouse. It’s also quite easy to flirt online and carry on even a “no touch” type of emotional relationship further distancing one from their spouse’s affections and needs.
Social media at its worst is responsible real affairs and rekindling “old flames” from the past that seem to “magically flare-up” again when reconnected. People will say and do things online that they would rarely if ever do in REAL LIFE. There was a time when our past stayed in our past, and by the looks of divorce rates due to social media, it was most likely best kept there.
This problem not only affects America though. Divorce-Online revealed a study done a legal service that reported one-third of divorces were attributing their marriage failure to Facebook. The United States found 1 out of every 5 were directly due to Facebook flings, flirts and philandering.
Even if a marriage does not end, research also attributes Facebook and social media to plenty of other marriage disasters such as jealousy, strife and distraction from the family. These are all termites of society and morality, slowly eating away at the foundation of one our most precious institutions, marriage. Entering virtual worlds where people we have long forgotten arise on our computer screens and stimulate all kinds of excitement and possibilities which in the case of marriage should be forbidden fruit, yet like the self-centered people we have become, we want what we want when we want it, and we are capable of lying, cheating and sneaking around to get it.
I cannot tell you how many clients I have seen that have cheated, were being cheated on, or divorced all because of social media. What is somewhat frightening to me though is how little it surprises most in any case. Facebook has become such a common and even expected forum for destroying marriages and relationships it surprises few when it occurs. That, perhaps, is the reason it happens as much as it does, and part of the explanation of who we as a society are becoming thanks to technological “advancements.”
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| Leo J. Battenhausen |
BIO: Leo J. Battenhausen is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Licensed Clinical Alcohol and Drug Counselor, Certified Relationship Specialist, Certified School Social Worker and an Employee Assistance Program Director in New Jersey. He has directed several mental health programs, worked in a state psychiatric hospital and a New Jersey State prison, and has presented numerous seminars, training programs and lectures regarding mental illness and its treatment. Battenhausen has been in the field of Clinical Psychology for more than 22 years and is featured regularly on nationally syndicated radio stations and shows discussing the social and psychological issues affecting Americans today. His first book, Defeating Depression: The Calm and Sense Way to Find Happiness and Satisfaction has won many awards in the categories of Self-Help, Psychology and Family Care, and it continues to help many people since its publication in 2011.
WEBSITE: socialcideinfo.com
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